This article is an attempt to equate all pornography to the violent sexual perversions of a murderer. Did they even read her article before publishing it? Everyone knows that normal people don't watch "porn" like that. (If you are "normal" and enjoy beheading videos, I'm sorry, but you're the worst kind of fucked up.)
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/kim-wall-peter-madsen-snuff-porn-submarine-inventor-submarine-swedish-journalist-a8322076.html
@auroch Many guys seem to like the whole "humiliate the whore" type of porn, judging by how much there is of it, compared to other genres. I wish they didn't. I find it a bit repulsive, and it seems to contradict the attitudes I thought permeated our society. Together with the #metoo scandals, a rather grim picture of manhood is painted. A picture that I don't recognise, making me feel alienated from other men.
@auroch The women I've dated also seem to have certain expectations, though. They expect a man to be tough and just "take it", and they like it if a man is assertive. It reminds me of the rather cartoonish image of masculinity and femininity painted in the song/video "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. I suspect that many people *want* these stereotypes and actively resist attempts to subvert them. I wasn't raised that way, so again, I feel alienated.
@auroch I'd argue that the counterpart of dominance is submission, and that in its extreme form, a submission fetish is a humiliation fetish. Saying that sexual submission doesn't imply some level of (strangely pleasurable) humiliation seems a bit far fetched. There are biological imperatives here, yet, here's what I don't get: Are we supposed to erect an impenetrable mental barrier between bedroom gender relations and day-to-day gender relations?
@auroch That is to say, are we, within the confines of contemporary feminist thinking, unable to reconcile these two spheres? Because I think that lies at the heart of the problem: Men who dominate women in the bedroom *do* have issues separating that from dominance in other areas of life. Reconciliation can only happen if these two spheres are unified.
@auroch And given the biological precedent, there is only one direction that can go in: Toward dominating women in other spheres of life. Attempting to change our animalistic behaviours in the bedroom are doomed to fail, since conscious attempts at self regulation in that sphere will always kill the mood and ruin the coitus.
@auroch What I'm saying is that feminist ideals are somewhat unrealistic. They're not bad ideals, and it would be nice if humans worked that way, but they don't, really.
For some reason I don't even like this dominance games, what turns me on in a woman is her own desire, not her submissiveness.